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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27297601">it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again (but as it is, and it is)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas'>fiveyaaas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Overdosing, will explain warnings further in author’s note!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:49:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27297601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“It was unfortunate how the time that came after saving the world barely changed anything at all.”</p><p>[Written for Kliego Week, Day 6]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kliego Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again (but as it is, and it is)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Alright, a quick disclaimer: this fic has discussions of self-harm through drug use, overdosing, and mentions of suicidal behaviors and tendencies. If any of these elements are upsetting to you at all, I encourage you to skip this fic!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was unfortunate how the time that came after saving the world barely changed anything at all. In fact, once the crisis had been averted, there wasn’t anything left to truly focus on. Living a life jumping from one crisis to another had prevented Klaus from being bored, from all of his surroundings to be too </span>
  <em>
    <span>still. </span>
  </em>
  <span>When he sat down and really thought about his life thus far, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>is when it got rough. Having the </span>
  <em>
    <span>gift </span>
  </em>
  <span>he did, having the persistent chatter of people surrounding him at any given time, certainly did not help anything. At the very least, when Ben had been a ghost, he had given him a focal point, and, at his best, he’d been able to sort of ward off other ghosts that tried to bother him. Though he was happy for Ben that he was now alive, the ghosts had grown more and more persistent, and Klaus’s hands itched for anything that would take them away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t meant for it to go as far as it had. There wasn’t much thought to it at all when he’d relapsed; he’d simply wanted silence again, something he used to get after taking enough pills. There were two main factors into why he overdosed the night he eventually broke his sobriety. One, he had actually managed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>stay</span>
  </em>
  <span> sober for quite a while beforehand, and his body had lost the tolerance it once had. Two, he wasn’t keeping track of what all he took, just digging through the old hiding places he’d kept in the mansion. He’d been shocked Ben hadn’t said anything when he said he wanted to hang back while they went out to Griddy’s, claiming he was feeling sick. Ben had given him a long look before ultimately leaving with the others, and he knew that if he had been thinking past that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>be apart from one another these days, he would have stayed there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was for the best, really. Ben would have started ranting about it if he had seen him now, and Klaus might have felt a little guilty. Isolating himself right then was necessary, and he cared enough about his family that he didn’t want them to see </span>
  <em>
    <span>this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, though, they did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately after vomiting up the charcoal, when his family was allowed to visit him in the emergency room (something he supposed they did now that they were trying to pretend to really </span>
  <em>
    <span>be </span>
  </em>
  <span>a family), he figured out who found him. Diego was watching every one of his movements like a hawk, and he recognized the near-manic look in his eyes. The others were awkwardly shifting from side-to-side, clearly uncomfortable. Well, all of them besides Ben, who was giving him the disapproving look that was familiar enough to Klaus that he sometimes wondered if Ben just had it prepared the second he walked into the same room as him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Klaus tried to defend himself, which made all of their eyes fill with concern, like they all shared one brain with one another and the only function said brain was capable of was not minding their own business. He pursed his lips at them, sneering, “You all gonna come visit me? I’m sure you’d all </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>the family therapy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that the second a therapist heard about this, he’d hear some bullshit about how he was lashing out of his own guilt. Klaus didn’t know, really, if he was, but he knew that he couldn’t stand the fact that they were all of a sudden trying to act like they </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>dysfunctional. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor came in with arrangements for an inpatient psychiatric hospital, deciding, no matter how many times Klaus insisted it wasn’t, that this had been a suicide attempt. At the very least, it meant less time than rehab, so he couldn’t precisely complain. It was going to be annoying, however, to keep explaining how he </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>saw ghosts and wasn’t experiencing auditory and visual hallucinations. He wondered what it would take to convince Five to just blink in and break him out, but, the second he glanced over to him, he scowled, apparently easily deciphering his line of thought. He left first, dragging Vanya along with him after she’d given Klaus a quick, hesitant hug. Allison kissed his cheek before leaving. Luther followed after her, looking pained, which Klaus felt was obnoxious. Honestly, all of it felt obnoxious when most of them hadn’t interacted with him for years before Reginald had died and the world had ended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last two in the room, Ben and Diego, he figured actually deserved a right to be upset. Diego hadn’t kept consistent communication, but he’d kept the most among the living fellow ex-cult members. Even Allison, who he’d actually been friends with when he was younger, had not really even attempted to talk to him much at all after she’d fucked off to California. He didn’t really think Ben would have willingly stuck around Klaus, either, given any choice at all, but he would be generous enough to give the benefit of the doubt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben sighed, eventually, telling him to call him while he was at the hospital if he needed him before stalking off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus craned his neck to Diego, who relaxed, ever-so-slightly once the others were gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell us you were that upset?” Diego murmured, crossing his arms over his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus sighed, “I was trying to get rid of the ghosts. It’s gotten worse with Ben not able to help, and I didn’t want you guys to have to hear about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you trying to kill yourself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Christ, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but it’s really hard to convince doctors that when they don’t understand that I can see ghosts.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck,” Diego shoved his hands into his pockets. “Didn’t even think about that. Sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus pursed his lips, unable to stay pissed off despite his best efforts. He supposed it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice that they were all trying. “You found me, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wordlessly, Diego nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus sighed. “We won’t have much time before I have to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Diego was probably as shocked as Klaus when he pulled him into a tight hug, despite being the one to initiate it. “Don’t do that again, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus knew he’d regret making a promise that felt out of his realm of control, but he told him he would, imagining that the important thing was that it comforted him and he needed it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t seem to want to pull away, but after a certain point he did, knowing he would have to go eventually. “I’m going to visit you while you’re there, dude,” Diego muttered to him, voice sounding like he was accepting it as his personal mission. Klaus decided to find it endearing. “Even if it means I have to go to that family therapy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus chuckled, trying to not sound as touched as he actually was by what Diego had just said, knowing that, if he made a big deal out of it, it’d make him uncomfortable, anyways. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, </span>
  <em>
    <span>dude.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t think that </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> would change either, but he could pretend. For just a moment, at the very least.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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